By Abigail Asubonteng
I once witnessed an argument in a public transport ‘trotro’ as sit is affectionately referred to on my way home. The argument was between a female passenger and the driver’s mate over the change he had handed her.
Her point was that, the change wasn’t up to the amount she was supposed to receive and his defense was that, he had charged her exactly what the fare demanded he charge.
After she tried unsuccessfully to get her money back, she started raining insults on him; hw3 ne tsikakraka bi ne nennsaaakyia(look at his big head and crooked hands) was the least of the insults he received that day. As she gave it to him; he also gave back with the same vigor.
This behaviour albeit frequent,highlights another overlooked occurrence in our day to day lives. For as the back and forth went on, other passengers were more concerned about the gender of people arguing and the issue causing the argument, totally ignoring the type of words being thrown around.
What is it?
Subjecting someone to humiliation or criticism for their body features or the act of saying something inappropriate/ negative about a person’s body is referred to as body shaming. Making judgement, negative comments or mocking the person’s appearance are all forms of body shaming.
Body shaming comes in two ways; criticizing yourself (self-body shaming) or criticizing another. It may also happen in a form of gender vs another gender as the scenario in the public transport or gender vs the same gender.
Who does it happen to?
Any gender can be subjected to body shaming. A 2022 article, titled: “Body Shaming; Uncovering It and Understanding It” written by Education Writer, Janelle Cox states, “Although people come in many different shapes and sizes, anyone can still be subjected to body shaming whether it is subtle or inadvertent”. According to a mental health advocate at the Pantang Hospital, RabiatuAsare-Mintah, statistics for Body Shaming Cases are difficult to come up with as people rarely visit mental health experts to talk about body shaming. However, such cases are heard from females than males as the former is usually open about it.
Where does it happen?
Body shaming can happen anywhere, at any time and in any culture. Social media has served as a platform for people to create unrealistic beauty ideals that has resulted in a culture of comparison. People may feel pressured to meet these standards to suit the trend or avoid negative comments. Here, body shaming occurs in the form of Cyberbullying; this is the use of electronic devices to bully, threaten or intimidate another person and can be hurtful and damaging to the person being targeted. On social media, the abuser is able to keep his/her identity anonymous, leading to much harsher comments as compared to body shaming in person. Since the media is used by a lot of people, being body shamed online, is an incident that is public and has a greater impact on the victim.An article from the Child Advocacy Center from Oakland University titled: “Social Media: Cyberbullying, Body shaming and Trauma” by Beverly Lickteig cites a 2016 survey which revealed that, 47 percent of girls (11-21) disclosed that the way they look holds them back and limits what they can do. 94 % of teenage girls have reported being body shamed and (12-20) year olds think the cause of their bullying was due to their appearance.
Relatives may also make well-meaning comments towards certain body parts, unaware that they are body shaming you.
At school, colleagues may make certain remarks or tease you about certain parts of your body, same as the work place.
People may also resort to body shaming as a form of insults when there is a conflict. Calling out names in a rush of anger that is targeted at the other person’s body features classifies as body shaming.
Why does it happen?
According to Rabiatu Asare-Mintah, people may shame others due to various reasons such as “societal pressure to conform to certain beauty standards, feelings of insecurity or jealousy, lack of empathy or a desire to assert power over others. Self-body shaming may be caused by internalizing negative societal messages, comparing oneself to unrealistic beauty standards, or past experiences of being body shamed by others”.
She added that, sometimes, the inability of parents and immediate families to improve the self-esteem of their wards, affect the ward when it comes to feelings of being worthy of being beautiful thus leading to self-body shaming.
In her article titled “Teens, Social Media and Body Image”, the Clinical Director for Melrose Center in the United States, Licensed Psychologist, Doctor Heather Gallivanstated that, “approximately 80% of U.S women don’t like how they look. 34% of men are dissatisfied with their body. 70% of normal weighted women want to be thinner”, as a result of their body image; which is how they think and feel about their body and is a component of self-esteem; which is how a person thinks and feels about themselves as a whole. This alone can cause them to self-body shame.
How does it affect you?
According to Rabiatu Asare-Mintah, body shaming can have significant negative effects on a person’s mental health, leading to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and even eating disorders in severe cases. In the long run, body shaming damages the victim’s self-confidence and impacts their relationship with others. They may become withdrawn, avoid social situations or develop trust issues due to the emotional pain caused. In some extreme cases it can lead to depression and suicide.
A 1998 research publication “Mirror, Mirror” by Kate Fox states that “we are all more obsessed with our appearance than we like to admit”, adding that we also believe in the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype which is a “deep-seated belief that physically attractive people possess other desirable characteristics such as intelligence, competence, social skills, confidence–even moral virtue. (The good fairy is always beautiful, the wicked stepmother is always ugly)”. It is therefore, not surprising that overwhelming importance has been placed on physical attractiveness. Another effect of body shaming is the need to conform to society’s beauty standards. In order to look in a way that masses would term “attractive”, people tend to steer towards body modification via cosmetic surgery which provides an opportunity for such people to achieve their ‘ideal’ body with various surgery procedures like the Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL), Liposuction, Tummy tuck amongst others.
Seeking Help
People who tend to modify their body may realize the beauty of their natural body and embrace self-acceptance after they have had an opportunity to heal. They may learn that their worth is not solely defined by their appearance and choose to stop modifying their bodies based on others opinions. Others will feel immense guilt and disappointment and may embark on campaigns that promote self- love.
Others may visit a counsellor or mental health expert to talk about their issue. Usually a counselor or mental health expert listens to the individual’s experiences, validates their feelings and helps them develop coping strategies. They may address self- esteem issues, work on building acceptance and provide tools to challenge negative thoughts related to body image and provide support during the healing journey. Here, the goal is to help the person feel better about themselves, build resilience and have a healthy relationship with their body so the expert’s approach may vary according to the individual’s needs.
Reaching out to a friend or relative with positive energy will help you form a temporary support system that will aid you during the healing process. The person may introduce you to personal skills they use that help them deal with such issues. Some friends or relatives may also stand up for you when the need arises.
The way forward
Every individuals worth goes beyond his/her appearance. Every person is unique and should be treated with respect. It is important to surround yourself with supportive and caring people who appreciate you for who you are. It is also necessary to practice empathy and kindness in relations with others regardless of their shape, size or looks. Seek help from friends, family or professionals if needed to build confidence and cope with negative comments. Focus on building a positive self-image and refrain from making hurtful comments about others. While we cannot control the actions of others, we can control how we contribute to the body shaming culture.
Writer’s Information:
A level 300 Student of the University of Media, Arts and Communication (UNIMAC- GIJ)
