I really wanted to be petty in this posts, seeing that apparently we can all cross lines and apologize later. I was going to sink to the same low these men usually do and apologize later. And even my apology would have just been a “let’s get them off my back” apology.
After all two can play that game right? But I decided against it, because I didn’t want to swim in the same faeces filled mud these men play in.
On Facebook I received a lot of messages from people asking that I suspend all comments on this because the person in question is in mourning. Now I like to think I’m a sympathetic and reasonable person and so that side of me brought up to be fair and treat others well, really wanted to leave the man alone during this period.
But then I wondered about the women in question? Who knows what tragedy they may have been going through when he made that comment? Do they suspend their emotions as well? Do women in Ghana get to take a break from being berated constantly?
Do we get a break from being disrespected, humiliated, raped, psychically and verbally abused etc daily? Don’t we suffer personal tragedies as this is going on? Do our abusers ever say “hey, so are you ok to deal with the load of abuse I’m about to dump on you?”
So why should he be given that privilege? Why must we suppress our feelings to make him comfortable? Why is it that when women are treated badly in this country nearly all the men join forces to say “forgive”, “move on”, “he’s apologized”, “let it go”.
I guess it’s because we’re not important, our issues don’t line people’s pockets and our feelings apparently don’t really matter, in a nutshell we’re just WOMEN.
And this is why I’m Tired.
Tired of constantly having to fight something that is so deeply imbedded in our minds and way of life that going against it is almost like fighting monstrous waves in the middle of the ocean without a life jacket swarmed by sharks.
Yep that’s how I feel nearly everyday when it comes to how women are generally treated by men in this country. And our only options are to either “cope” with that feeling or conform to the patriarchy that is this society.
Coping, however, means jumping into a boat that may save you from drowning but is filled with deadly JELLY FISH that will kill you eventually.
So basically, I’m/ we’re screwed either way.
And this is one of the reasons why I wasn’t going to write on this at first. But after reading MALAKA’S piece I knew I couldn’t leave her to carry another “cross” alone. Because traditionally that’s what we do whenever there’s a problem.
We stand at the back of the class and push that on kid who’s brave enough to stand in front, forward and support quietly from the back; enough for our friend to hear but not too much to invoke the anger of our opponents. We stand just at the threshold so we can make a run for it if things go south.
So Malaka, I gotchu!!!
Now a little insight into what led to this for those who don’t know.
A few days ago Evron Hughes posted the below picture tagging Franklin Cudjoe to “Quantify” it. Note that although he tagged Franklin, it was IMANI he addressed in his post.
And for those who don’t know, IMANI’s mission is to “subject any government policy that is likely to have systematic implications for development” to scrutinize and analysis and then actively engage in public advocacy to publicize the results. In a nut shell they don’t let the government sleep.
And this tells us all we need to know about this man, his institution and associates.
His apology says even more; because he basically laughed it all off like it was nothing.
The apology or its attempt wasn’t because he’d been struck with common sense or remorse, it was to appease us the “uptight” people who don’t have a funny bone and thus might have been offended by his comment because we didn’t get it.
The others who did “get it” were free to call up a few friends, grab a beer and continue to laugh and share their own “over used and smelly” stories.
Now in a perfect world, Franklin Cudjoe and his entire organization would have be stripped of all privileges , publicly shunned by institutions associated with them and he would have been demoted from his position.
It doesn’t help that he carries himself as a man of honour, integrity and respect. *cough (bullshit alert).
So how are people supposed to take anything from him and his institution seriously if as a leader he has absolutely no decorum and doesn’t take the same actions he demands from others when they go wrong?( if the thinks he’s wrong that is)
Or isn’t this the same Franklin that will not let us “hear word”. “Hoeing” or for those who would prefer “Ashawoing” ( yes I told you we’re all going down the petty hole today) himself to every radio and television station and any media house that will have him?
Spitting saliva into mics across the country as he barks about everything WRONG, with this country. All in the name of his “Think- Tank” and keeping the government on its toes. He he constantly calling for people to resign for one thing or another?
This man ensures the ruling party and specifically PRESIDENT doesn’t get “a day off “, so tell me; why are you sending us mails and calling us for a ceasefire?
What makes him so special that he must be ignored.
Ever wonder why Tiger Woods lost all his endorsements when he was caught with his pants down? Or why Bill Cosby has been stripped of nearly all merits he worked for because of an “alleged” accusation? What about in recent weeks when Ryan Lochte a member of the US men’s swim team who lied about being robbed in Rio at Gun point? Why do you think he’s losing nearly all major endorsement deals?
Brands know not to associate themselves with anyone with a bad reputation because it’s a reflection on them.
But here in Ghana, Franklin and his coons will mostly likely get a promotion and air time to spew more rubbish.
His coons like Mr. Environmental and Body Studies, Evron Hughes, who although seems to be letting Franklin take all the heat in this, I believe is a closeted pervert himself. He baited Franklin in his post, but just didn’t think Franklin would be dumb enough to open his “nyash” for the world to see.
Because tell me Mr. Environment what other reason could you have for putting this pictures up and asking for a “quantification?” You knew EXACTLY what you were thinking..
The truth is, as Malaka Grant wrote in her submission :
Social media gives people a false sense of security – the virtual anonymity that so many people assume that they can hide behind, while emboldening others who think that they can use their titles, degrees, government positions, verified accounts or the number of followers they have on their pages as clout; as a shield. Clearly Franklin Cudjoe – and his buddy, Evron Hughes– falls in the latter group. It was on Evron’s Facebook page that a sordid drama unfolded and confirmed this suspicion that many have long held. MindOfMalaka.com
So nothing’s new here, and this post by a friend on Facebook perfectly explains why you both did what you did.
These are the types of conversations that majority of our Ghanaian men enjoy having. Occasionally they forget the platform they are on and it goes public.
I am far from saying Ghanaian women are angels but all u need to do is sit in a conversation with either sides and you would immediately notice the difference.
If a less enlightened group often did it, it would be a different matter but noooooo; After work, in most ” joints” you find these so called “big boys” seated drinking and talking trash mostly about females(supported of course by football).
Somehow our men find it extremely funny to say and enjoy putting women down in their conversations.
How many of them they have had sex with in the offices, which ones they intend to have sex with, which ones have the best this or the worse that. The funny thing is, they see women they may perhaps gone to bed with as being “defiled or damaged” just because they touched them.
Won’t that make you the filth transmitter therefore you are worse? It is very pathetic to observe as they boast about their sexual prowess and spew filth about women in their lives or even mere passerby.
This Franklin Cudjoe guy is simply and dare I say, inadvertently just being himself.
After all that is how our men release tension. But you see, it’s not as if else where it’s different, but at least this type of behaviour is expected to have evolved out of your system as a man when you climb up a certain social ladder.
How can we then evolve as a people if this type of behaviour is ignored and accepted. ? Don’t you men know that your value as a man has everything to do with how you respect your women? I hope for the day when one real man in these types of after-work joint drinking sessions would actually call a fellow out for being a chauvinist. Honestly speaking this has got to be what the new Ghanaian man is!! Collectively, you guys are not pulling your weights when it comes to how you treat your women privately and publicly.— Everlove Boakye- Dankwa
And that sums it all up.
I hope these men apologize to the women in their lives because they have to carry the burden of their shameful act unfortunately.
I other hand won’t be listening to anything this man and his associates have to say and hope he’s banned from speaking on anything unless he renders a proper apology and proves he’s indeed remorseful.
But I hold my breath because in Ghana, rapist get airtime and chauvinist get parliamentary appointments.
So I’m just going back to the ocean and hoping I don’t drown.
****And for the record, I know I’m going to get attacked, insulted and put down.(mostly by men) Because again men are allowed to say anything they want about women in this country and get away with it, and we on the other hand will be publicly persecution if we dare try.